How to Be More Assertive in a Relationship

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10 Steps Towards Mastering Assertiveness in Your Relationships

Psychology Today states that assertive people “clearly and respectfully communicate their wants, needs, positions, and boundaries to others. And while it’s not easy, maintaining your virtue without compromising is one of the sexiest things you can do. You’ll simultaneously extract respect without demanding it at all.

In fact, men and women around you will feel almost obligated to respect your boundaries, and even happy to do so. So why do most women balk at the thought of being assertive, or at least shy away from it?

This is a question for both of the sexes. Let me define a little bit. Assertive: Not wishy washy. Won’t ever say in a whiny er you.

And if you think you can become that woman through trickery, manipulation, or deceit, you’re sadly very, very wrong. Here’s the truth: emotionally healthy men are by nature more drawn to a woman who knows what she wants. And I’m not talking about just knowing what you want from the mall next time he takes you, either. This can be you.

But before I give you the 15 reasons, I need to tell you – this post can dramatically change the game for you, if you let it. If you read it, let it sink into your pores, and share it with someone else, you’re more likely to remember it and feel more attached to taking action with these principles. Also, you’ll notice I’m using “emotionally healthy men” as the leading adjective term for the kind of man I’m referring to.

There’s a reason for that. Emotionally unhealthy men are not what we’re going for. What does that look like?


Are you struggling to gain the love, respect, and commitment you deserve from your relationships? The solution is to transform how you think, feel and act – rewiring your mindset for success. And that’s exactly what you’ll learn in this audiobook.

Why is it when women speak our minds assertively it’s deemed needy? If I’m dating a guy who can’t handle my assertive nature and calls me.

Some forums can only be seen by registered members. This is a question for both of the sexes. Let me define a little bit. Assertive: Not wishy washy. Won’t ever say in a whiny voice.. They state their preference of movie, place to eat, something to do practically all the time and will listen to yours also. If asked about their opinion, they are direct and confident in saying it. Will listen to your side but will stick to their guns with their opinion if challenged.

They know what pleases them in sexual matters and do not hesitate to say so.


Click the button below for more info. October 25th, by Nick Notas 15 Comments. I told you how I once believed going after what I wanted and needed was wrong. And it was only when I realized that making yourself a priority is perfectly healthy that I became a liberated, fulfilled man.

88 votes, comments. Just curious, how assertive are you when it comes to dating? I feel like if I like someone I come on too strong. This one .

Are you struggling to gain the love, respect and commitment you deserve from your relationships? The solution is to transform how you think, feel, and act – rewiring your mindset for success. By completing your purchase you agree to Audible’s Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Sold and delivered by Audible, an Amazon company.

Do you want to rapidly grow your self-confidence? How to master your relationships and attract the man of your dreams The powerful self-confidence formula for women The crippling confidence mistakes you must fix today Chapter Three will surprise you! Read more Read less. Cancel anytime. Free with Audible trial. Keep your audiobooks even if you cancel.


Whether you’re in the first few weeks of attraction or you’ve had a serious partner for a number of years, being assertive or not can make or break a relationship. We spoke to Fran Walfish, Psy. According to Walfish, the act of being assertive starts with ongoing communication—and not just with your partner.

Whether dating is involved or not, I think this level of assertiveness is vitally important to live a happy and healthy life. If you are not comfortable doing this.

I wanted to learn where I kept sabotaging myself, and of course, meet my perfect match. At the time I struggled to voice my feelings, though she believed a woman who was self-confident could do this without ever being seen as needy. So I took her advice on board and slowly began to feel confident in speaking my mind instead of letting my emotions bottle up. Though recently, I found myself feeling more frustrated than ever and wondering where I was going wrong.

There was just one little problem; he cancelled almost every date at the last minute. I really liked this guy, but could feel myself slipping back into my old pattern of bottling things up, so I gave myself a pep talk and wrote him an assertive but friendly text to tell him how I felt. But needing closure on the situation, I proceeded to survey a large pool of anyone with a penis to get some male perspective on the situation.

Dating assertiveness training experience

But how much has this changed in the 21st century? A survey by DatingDirect. In the survey of over 2, people, women reported being less shy on dates than men 29 per cent versus 44 per cent , and making more effort with their appearance — half choose smart, sexy clothes on a first date, whereas 78 per cent of men go for the casual and relaxed look.

Women also like to keep the finances on an equal footing.

This empirical study examines dating competency and status in relation to assertiveness; the interplay between assertiveness and assertion of autonomy as well.

Related to assertiveness: assertiveness training. To assert oneself is to affirm one’s rights or position withouteither aggressively transgressing the rights of another assuming a position of dominance or submissively permitting another to ignore or deny one’s rights or rightful position. Such training has as its goals enabling the learner to express personal feelings freely, speak up for his or her rights, communicate disagreement effectively, accept compliments comfortably, persist in expressing a legitimate complaint, and negotiate mutually satisfying solutions to interpersonal situations in which there is some type of conflict.

Mentioned in? References in periodicals archive? Joy used her assertiveness to help her mother, who died of breast cancer when Joy was

Welcome to FINAT Consulting

Click here to listen to the entire Dating Criteria Playlist. Are you doing too much, not enough or just the right amount when it comes to dating? This is such a difficult question to answer. Have you ever had that feeling?

Invite a girl you’ve been texting or chatting with (online dating) to do something that interests you. If you truly feel overworked and underpaid, ask.

Assertiveness is a healthy way of communicating. It’s the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful. Every day, we’re in situations where being assertive can help us — like asking someone on a date, approaching a teacher with a question, or doing well on a job or college interview. Being assertive doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Some people communicate in a way that is too passive.

Other people have a style that is too aggressive. An assertive style is the happy medium between these two. An assertive communication style can help us do the things we want to do. But it goes further than that: Being assertive shows we respect ourselves and other people.

Dating in Japan: Friendzone

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